beyond pornography.

A major problem for men (up to 80% of Christian men according to some) and women (we must acknowledge this as a growing and very real problem for women as well) is the viewing of and, on more extreme levels the addiction to, pornography. In fact, one recent study suggested that up to 50% of pastors had viewed pornography intentionally within the past month.

Seeing that it is such a major problem I am constantly working on how to help people move along the path to victory - and by victory I don't mean simply not viewing pornography, I mean breaking free of the draw to it altogether.  So, I read much on this and am constantly thinking about steps that can be taken towards freedom.  Recently, as I was reading, I came across this statement:

"...most people involved with the use of pornography have not come
to the place where they desire not to desire it. For whatever reasons,
they think it is too important to them and that they would
 be "missing out" if they did not have the desire for it. That
 concession traps them into continued use." (link)

This is a really strong statement but I have found that it stands as valid. Many people will say that they want to be free of pornography or of cultivated lusting but when you begin to really talk about what life would be like if they would never again view someone of the opposite sex through a sexual lens or if they would never again gratify themselves sexually - ever again - you can see in their face a certain level of disappointment, a certain sadness. The reason for this is because as it stands sexuality and the gratification of sexual desire are viewed as essential goods - things that if they were taken away would leave life dull and unsatisfying. 

At its root, the problem is one of elevating sex to a level that is unhealthy and borderline idolatrous. I have found that this problem - while perhaps more acutely perceptible in singles due to the fact that they are waiting to have sex - is not one that married people are immune to. Many marriages suffer from sexual bondage and many within marriage still find it necessary to turn to pornography or some other outlet in order to have their desires fulfilled.

Getting back to the quote, what is really being said is that at the root of pornographic and sexual addiction is bad theology. A very small and inadequate vision of God is central to this problem - the fact is, most of us do not view God as the one who fulfills our needs to such a degree that we need not worry about unsatisfied desire.  This is the constant confession of Scripture - think of David in the psalms - "The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing." Or "I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand I shall not be shaken." Or "I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord, apart from you I have no good thing.'"  The person who believes these things will not turn to lesser goods in order to find satisfaction - they live in the reality that God provides all they need and so sex, food, clothing, money, etc. while not bad, cannot serve as replacements for fulfillment that can only be found in him.

These are things we profess but our professions don't always reveal our beliefs. Actions reveal beliefs. Are my actions saying to those around me that my satisfaction is in God or in some alternative god?

All this to say - freedom from pornography or sexual addiction must have as its starting place, a right view of God and his provision. I need to be able to echo David's sentiments in the 23rd psalm with all my being and without hesitation - where there is hesitation there is the propensity to fill up what is lacking in my life according to my own power.  A proper view of God allows me to say that there is nothing I lack because he oversees my life.

Has sex or pornography come to the point where it is a good with which you could not live without? Consider - whether you're single or married - if you would never again be able to view or foster a mental sexual image, is there any part of you that feels your shoulders slump because life wouldn't be quite as exciting or good? Another question - Jesus never engaged in anything like what we've been talking about...was his life impoverished or lacking in some essential goodness that you couldn't go without? 

In order to move beyond pornography a vision of the goodness it brings my life (let's get honest) must be replaced with a larger vision of a God who loves us and always provides us with what we need - a vision that can truly confess, "I lack nothing."

Comments

[Tyler]

Great freaking post, Ryan.